I stayed home with the girls from church because they were sick today. . . more like coughing up nasty stuff. Either way...
So Kyle calls me on the way home from church to tell me that if I was there I would have been really annoyed. Okay - why? He says you just would have. Umm... okay? Why would I have been annoyed Kyle? "Oh you just would have been really irritated?" ... ummm... annoyed and irritated? "Why?" Well he tells me it was something about haiti and orphans and I would have been irritated.
I am not kidding - he is incredibly vague and you have to ask 50 questions.... but he does this when he is bothered by something and doesn't want to talk about it. Soooo... I ask him..
"Would I have been annoyed because YOU were annoyed at what they were saying?"
"Yes, I was!" he says, now sounding irritated at me...
"Why don't you just say why it bothered you Kyle???"
He doesn't want to talk about it and he wants to get off the phone.
Okay - so he is obviously bothered by whatever - and he is right - I probably would have been too.
I can just imagine, because the church sucks at orphan care.
(let me just say this too - soooo does that mean since the situations adopting from haiti have now closed that they would be open to adopting from another country? Or a BLACK child here in the united states? Because before this they were NOT open to a black child... um... aren't haitian children black?)
Not gonna lie - all his phone call did was stir up all the emotions I have been feeling about Ethiopia the last few weeks.
I feel frustration (and maybe a bit of jealousy) that people who CAN qualify to adopt from Ethiopia (or any other flipping country) don't. They don't care about the kids living in an orphanage - or they don't care enough to act. I keep getting emails and info about available or waiting children in orphanages. We don't qualify. Its funny how even right now I start to cry thinking about it. Ugh. I look at people who have PLENTY and could easily add a child (or infant) into their home. But they don't. And here I want to - but can't.
I love my life. We have chosen for our family to live on one income so I can stay home with our children. I want to be the one raising my kids - not some day care. So we CHOSE this... and that decision means we can't adopt from Ethiopia... or Congo... or..... where ever. I told Kyle I wouldn't change it. I don't want him to feel like what he does for us isn't enough... because it is. God is taking our family another direction.
A couple days ago we were contacted by another agency we had inquired through. He seems to think WE CAN adopt from Ethiopia its just a matter of how we are presented in our home study. I just don't know if I want to fork over $600 to find out if immigration will approve us... because what if they don't. That $600 could go towards our next adoption here. I don't know enough of the details how this works.
On another note...
Kyle mentioned last night that he had better finish the upstairs for the next time we get a call for foster care!!! This is HUGE. Kyle has never wanted to do foster care - just foster to adopt or adoption of children waiting in the system. Maybe talking to our social worker yesterday planted a little seed? God is changing is heart :) Our agency usually gets kids who are the harder to place kids in foster care. Now that we moved counties our worker seems optimistic that we will get kids placed with us who would be a good fit for our family and good with little ones :) I am just excited that this may now be a possibility for our family.
There is a child available for adoption now named Anthony. He isn't in our state but I would LOVE to have our info sent in to see if we would be a good family for him. He is significantly older than what we had originally been planning on but this boy has stolen my heart. He is the same age David would be now had he been placed with our family. Anthony's only special "need" is his age. Kyle isn't sure... :) I just want his okay to send our stuff in. I just wanted to share. I don't have much faith in this kind of a situation actually happening for us - but I can't help but get excited about the possibility.
Maybe God is saying WAIT on International Adoption... and right now he wants us taking in the children here. . . loving these kids...
Either way - I am excited to see where he takes us.
Thanks for letting me vent. Its been my therapy for today lol
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Church
Posted by ..... at 9:39 AM
Labels: church, dangerous surrender, ethiopia, foster care, sadness
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5 comments:
I feel a little differently about it- people who can qualify to adopt but don't, that is. I think adoption has to be something that your heart is called to do. It cannot be something that is done out of pity, out of guilt or out of desperation (NOT at all directing that at YOU, just to be clear LOL). I also have had the frustration of seeing so many children lingering in foster care for very long periods of time with nobody interested in adopting them. Frustration with the image of foster care adoption, frustration with the myths, frustration with the fear. I understand it, completely and without a doubt understand it. But I see so many people who close the door on foster care adoption because they are scared. That's really sad to me. However I also know that it takes a certain type of person to be able to adopt from foster care, not everybody is cut out for it. I feel the same about international adoption. Not everybody is cut out for it. I'm not. I will never adopt internationally. If we adopt again, I will choose to adopt a child from this country's foster care system that needs a home. That's where my heart lies. Just another perspective on adoption, take it or leave it LOL!
You know I love your blog and value your opinion on this subject right?? :) I know not everyone is cut out for it. I just think most people dont want to inconvienence themselves for any child - here or in another country. I just wish people would have a heart for adoption - PERIOD. I think another thing that irritated me about this situation was that this family WAS NOT open to a black AMERICAN child... but open to a haitian child???? HAITIAN is BLACK! I don't get it.
I think a lot of Christian would qualify to adopt. But they don't. Its not so common. And I think it should be.
Don't even get me started on the race issue. I'm from the South and I see more of it than I care to. I just don't understand why race is such a barrier for some people. On the flip side- the case workers who are openly opposed to an interracial adoption and who will go out of their way to make sure they find the "right" color family. That chaps my butt!
I do agree that there a great many people who just don't want to be inconvenienced by adopting and integrating a child into their family. I get really upset when people talk about adoption as though it is a last resort for an infertile couple- to be avoided at all costs unless it's the only way you can get a kid. GRRRRRR!
OOOOHhhh as far as adoption being a last resort... for real... Or the couple that chooses adoption - gets pregnant and then no longer wants to adopt... at all....???
Have you seen "facing the giants"... same people who did fireproof. Anyway... the movie was good - but through the movie the couple is trying to get pregnant... they talk about adoption... at the end they have a miracle and they are pregnant. After the movie Kyle says "The movie was good except for one thing - why couldn't ADOPTION be the miracle?"
Even in subtle ways like that I feel like its implied that adoption is second best.
I agree! We happened to find out we were pregnant (I'm pretty darn fertile for an infertile) 2 months before our adoption of Boy2 was finalized. I could not believe how many people asked us if we were going to stop the adoption now that we had "our" baby. A few people even asked if we were going to give our older son "back"! I used naughty words!
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