Christmas!

Wed night we had a special Christmas with Kyle's family

Thurs night we had a special Christmas with my

immediate family (all my siblings were there)

Friday we had a special Christmas with my

great grandma and family

Its wonderful to be able to spend time with

our families and make wonderful memories, but

Christmas morning we had our own special little Christmas with just

Kyle, Kinsey, Cali and I :)

Can you believe sometime in the early

morning they both wound up in our bed

and the babies and I slept in til after 9am!

My babies never sleep better than they do in our bed :)

And I just love my cuddle time with them.

Its neat to share with a two year old the

special things that they have never heard.

At the Christmas eve service at church

we were singing and one line just stood out.

"Born that men no more may die"

That sums up everything,

His purpose in coming,

His purpose in dying &

Our freedom in Christ.

The perfect gift.

2 weeks til Christmas???

Kinsey Cali & Chase

My friend Kyleigh came over today with her little man.
We had fun just sitting around talking - following our kiddos around.
Its nice to just relax and enjoy each other.
I wish we didn't live so far apart - but (almost) 2 hours isn't bad.
At least we get to see each other when I visit my family :)

The girls LOVE playing with and holding Chase.

I can't believe we are half way through December. Its crazy. Things are going great - with our house. I am thinking next weekend we will be able to start moving in. I am so excited!! Its crazy. It will be crazy living in a new home. New location. The same road I have driven on for the last (almost) five years from our home to my inlaws, I will never have a need to drive on again. At least not on a regular basis. Its just a change. I am excited. Excited about this new step in our lives. Excited to make memories in our new home. OUR HOME.

The last few days I have been visiting my family since Kyle went to Oklahoma with his parents to visit his sister who just had a baby boy :) I am jealous, of course, he gets to see the nieces and brand new nephew but I am SO happy for him. I know its something he has been wanting to do. We didn't make it out there this summer because I was worried about driving that far with the girls - the screaming. . . . the endless screaming on the drive :) Then of course my dad gave me a pep talk about how it may be a miserable drive but a year from now we will look back at what a great time we will have. Sooo... maybe we will attempt it this spring. We will see :)

Anyway - so I have been with my family. Tonight we went up to the Kessler center (huge gym/athletic facility) at Taylor U. We pretty much had the whole place to ourselves. It was me, my parents, four of my siblings, my two girls, my brother's friend and another little boy (2 years old) who my parents watch on a consistent basis. My mom and I could push the girls in the stroller around the track while the kids ran around chasing each other, playing basketball and throwing a football. It was such a nice time. They go up there alot - I just really enjoy our time there. I love being part of a big family. I loved watching the kids run around just having fun - enjoying themselves. Yeah things can get crazy... but its great. Today I had my girls plus my siblings Shauna and Justin (7 and 10) - the girls LOVE playing with the kids...and I enjoy having them around. I miss them. Thankfully we visit every other weekend usually. I didn't want to be one of those situations where my younger siblings didn't really know me. Anyway - its been a good last few days.

One minor update on our next adoption - we have really just been trying to map out possibilities. Of course we just don't KNOW what could happen - anything could happen. But we don't want to get in too deep financially. We still have Kinsey's loan we are paying on and we just can't add another payment. Things are coming together and we received REALLY good news that will help us out alot as far as financing our adoption. Of course we are still praying for this grant but God is definitely showing us ways he will provide for this to happen :)

My active babies :)

Cali wanted to skate

Kinsey's first time skating!

We were helping grandpa in Bethleham Marketplace

Before our big break :)

My babies in some Christimas dresses :)

Each day I feel like my girls just grow older and older. For real. Its crazy. The cute little things they do together. They have had "no" matches... they just go back and forth saying no... Kinsey usually ends up upset because Cali told her no. Too cute.

The otherday I stubbed my toe... and Kinsey looks at me -

"hurts like dickens mommy?".

Yeah... in her Veggie Tales they say

"It hurts like the dickens"

... my kid is stinking cute.

And her prayers... the way she talks to Jesus. Precious.

The other night Kinsey says:

"I scared mommy. Jesus take care me? Jesus take care me mommy??"

I just melt.

Feeling Pretty Good

Kyle and I continue to discuss different scenarios and options as far as the next one. You know... do I fly out and he stay home... or does he fly out with me and leave after a couple days while I stay for Icpc... Who would we have go with me to help... that kind of a thing. We also crunched some numbers and I just feel really good about it.

I spoke with the local agency again... the supervisor this time. Turns out they dont work with families with children because the birthmothers rarely pick them... in their experience. The fact that we were open to race didnt matter. It was just frustrating since the other two ladies from the other two branches were so excited to add us... then when we finally get to the branch over our area... its a no go. Things eventually got better. Some how it came up that we had our foster care license and were special needs approved. So she then mentioned that they get calls from hospitals with infants born with drugs in their system and said that she could call us if that happens. We could do that without having to pay the first fee required and that the fees would be reduced even more due to the baby being difficult to place. All she needs is our homestudy... no profile or anything. I dont know if anything will come from it but at least we are available. I am still going to follow up and see if the other branches can work with us since ours wont (to be in the pool). I am still feeling really good about being with them even if its the last minute call from a hospital. Project Cuddle too ... I know we belong there. Even if flying out there would be difficult or stressful... we are talking about our child. I cant imagine not pursuing that ... pursuing a child because of a little stress :) The stressful part I am referring to is bringing Cali along to pick up baby. But if we dont get a call for several months bringing Cali along may not be an issue... she will just stay home. But if the call is sooner rather than later.... she will need to. I havent decided on how long I will be breastfeeding. I can just see that as soon as I stop we get the call. Formula isnt the worse thing that could happen :) but I would prefer breastfeeding if possible :) Anyway... I am feeling good about both places. Both places could potentially be a long wait but I am at peace whether it is or not. I know God knows who will be a part of this family... I am anxious to see what he already knows.

My girls are growing more everyday. Cali is booking it everywhere. It seems like yesterday she took her first step. I can remember being in my living room watching Kinsey take hers.....and now... now Kinsey woke up this morning telling me she needs tylenol. For real. Sorry babe... ya gotta be sick for that lol

Where we are suposed to be

Not sure if I mentioned before but we bought our first house - closed on it Oct 7th!! Well since then we have been remodeling and making changes. . . . lots of painting, all new windows, new bathroom, new kitchen cabinets, new roof (on the bck side), new carpet and new flooring will be the major changes to the house. We are slowly getting there... I am hoping to be moved in by Christmas! :) Originally I had hoped to be moved in by Dec 1st but ... well.. it isn't happening :) This Friday the carpet guy will be coming and I am sooo excited!! I will be posting a couple before and after pictures once we get settled. Both of our families have helped out SO much and we couldn't have done it alone.

Kyle and I continue to talk about what direction we will head for our next adoption. So many decisions... sooo many decisions. I have talked to alot of great people who really have a heart for what they do - and I have also come across the shady people who are making a killing off of the women and babies involved in the adoption process. We know we want to send our stuff into Project Cuddle. But we also want to be a part of somewhere here in our own state. This past week I spoke with a woman from an agency with reasonable fees whose majority of infants placed have been in our area. They are of course in need of families open to african american and biracial infants (like everwhere else) so when she heard we were open to any race she let us know she was REALLY interested in working with us with the possibility of even reducing the fees on a scale for our anual income as a help to us. (Please pray for favor in this area as that would of course be WONDERFUL!). Their one office does their fees based on a sliding scale f your income without a minimum... but we are not in their "district" ... of course the branch whose district we are in has a minimum on that sliding scale. I asked if it was possible to work with their other branch or if they would honor the other branches fees... she is going to let us know. Soooo... PRAY that it happens :)

Anyway - I have REALLY felt a peace about working with them - like this is where we are supposed to be. Kyle is on board and feels like we should pursue working with them. I have spoken with several GREAT people (other facilitators/agencies) but it just didn't seem like we were supposed to be there. Now the wait for here could be alot longer. They don't "specialize" in adoption....they don't advertise as heavily as other agencies. Last year between the three branches there were 16 adoptions. Now that doesn't necessarily mean it WILL take a long time... but it could. But when the right woman chooses us - the wait won't matter :) I just need to keep praying for patience and KNOW i am where we are supposed to be.

There is one reason I am hoping it is sooner rather than later. . . breast feeding. I have continued to breast feed Cali for a couple reasons (one I am waiting til winter is over) but one big one is that that I want to breastfeed our next child. . . even if they are adopted. I would rather still be breastfeeding Cali so I can naturally feed next baby. We will see though... maybe it won't work. But I was hoping :)

Anyway - pray for us/with us - for the adoption grant and for direction... and patience for God's timing in everything :)

foster to adopt

I am not sure if I have mentioned in the past that we have our foster care license. We have had it (our license and homestudy) since Sep 2006 and we get it updated every year - staying on top of our classes/workshops. We will also be pursuing this route if at all possible. Having two little girls tends to make it difficult because we want to make sure they are safe first and foremost. Our case manager is keeping us in mind though so who knows if that path will take us somewhere. We have submitted our homestudy on two different children but everything seems to take a while when dealing with the state. In the mean time we are pursuing a domestic adoption - we will see what happens first :)

We'll give it a try!

Please pray with us as i apply for a grant for our next adoption. I am sooo excited and nervous as to what the outcome will be. i know god will provide for us - he always has. I am still nervous. :) I will be sending our application this week - I will keep you posted!

Any little bit they award would be amazing - so helpful!

Ahhhh!!!! I just wanted to share! :)

My babies are growing!

Here we go!

I am putting one of these together to help keep track of our adoption earnings. When we adopted Kinsey we weren't prepared and we didn't attempt to save in advance. We didn't even think that would be the way we would adopt. Because of that we took out a loan and paid for our adoption like that. Well, with recently purchasing a home we are trying to get "adoption money" set aside to be more prepared.

Adoption has become a big business. Adoptions are incredibly exspensive. People are making a killing and its one of those things that really gets me mad. We are going to be VERY particular in who we work with and we want to keep all of our exspenses around $10,000 (which is LOW compared to most). Of course then you have travel and finalization exspenses but we are hoping to raise as much of it as possible.

Unfortunately we will not benefit from the adoption tax credit. This is something else that REALLY gets to me. We have talked to two tax people and I guess we don't make enough money. But hey - again - its a faith thing. We know God will provide.

I am excited though - I am going to open a seperate checking for our adoption exspenses so cash I get here and there I can put into it. You know every little bit adds up :)

We are SO excited to be starting this crazy journey again .... a little nervous too. Its such an emotional rollar coaster. But its WORTH IT. Worth every dime. Worth every tear.

We really believe that we are called to adopt. We believe that God calls us to be open to these women and babies. Open to take a child in when a woman feels she can't parent but has dreams for that beautiful baby she carries.

We are hoping to adopt a child... the race doesn't matter... the gender doesn't matter... we are just excited about adding a child to our family. :) We have our home study complete. We would like to "technically" be on a list after we get moved into our new home. That means its coming up fast.

We will be sending our stuff into Project Cuddle... and possibly a couple other places. We will see where God takes us. Its crazy... our family may look exactly the same this time next year... or ...we may have another little family member :)

Thanks for all of your support. I can't wait to update you on how things go - the good, the bad and the scary. :)

Kreativ Blog Award

Thanks Andi for the Kreativ Blog Award nomination! I first met Andi through the Bethany Christian Services Adoption Message Board. Her little man KJ is affectionately known in our home as "Hunk of burning love" ...at least that is what he is called when I mention something to Kyle about them and he asks if I am talking about "Hunk of burning love" lol

(You can see him here sporting the shirt)....

Moving On...

Here are the rules:
Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
Name seven things about yourself that people may not know.
Nominate seven Kreativ Bloggers.
Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they've been nominated.

seven things people may not know about me:

1. I grew up with a variety of reptiles in my home... boa constrictors, monitor lizards, and some more "exotic" reptiles... my mother in law loves me anyway :)

2. I lived in the bay area in California for 12 years - I miss the cultural diversity

3. I was homeschooled through my freshman year in high school

4. I get nervous in social settings

5. I use to be addicted to a particular soap - not the kind you clean with lol

6. I LOVE Cary Grant and Gregory Peck Movies

7. I met my husband through match.com - for real

Blogs I Nominate:

1. Kim

2. Heidi

3. Snarky Mom

4. Jamie

5. Robin

6. Jen

7. Mama From Uganda

Pics from the week

3 by 3 by 3

Promo for "3 by 3 by 3" Documentary from David Watson on Vimeo.

Random Cuteness :)

4 wheel jamboree

Didn't you know that white is better?

Last week while I was at a church function/event that I was volunteering for, the topic of adoption came up. You know – women start talking about everything while they work. I was one of three women there who had adopted a child. One of the women was sharing with me about the agency she had gone through – She knew I had adopted but that was the extent of it. Pretty much it was the other two women going back and forth. Then they got to fees and wait period… The woman looks at me with this look I can’t really describe and says “We only waited six months for a CAUCASIAN child”. I am making that in bold because she said it just like that …. Even verbalizing it I can’t explain the look on this woman’s face or the sound of her voice. She said it very slow and very… I don’t know – proud of herself? Like she got what everyone else wishes they had.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

Seriously – you know that feeling where you instantly don’t feel good? I had that. Then I got pissed. My first thought – “Did she really just say that out loud and in that way?” …and my second thought? “What the hell makes your daughter better than mine because she is white?”

This has happened over a week ago and I still feel nauseas thinking about it. On the way home I thought maybe I was taking it the wrong way – maybe she didn’t mean it like that. Then I keep thinking of the WAY she said it. That smug look on her face. Don’t misunderstand – I know many people who only want to adopt white children and I am not offended everytime I hear about it. It was the smug way she said it. So is that how people really feel? That they got the better or more desirable child because its white? I’m sure she wouldn’t have said it in that way, using that tone, had she known my daughter was Hispanic. But at least I know what she was thinking. And these are Christians.

Jesus loves the little children….Red, yellow, black and white … they are precious in his sight.

I still can’t believe it. What if my next child is African American? Or Biracial? Or is Hispanic like my oldest daughter? Does that mean I am to be pitied because I didn’t get a white baby? Are you freaking kidding me??? Does it ever occur to people that our “preference” is a non Caucasian child?

P.S. Jesus wasn’t white

I am ready

You know its funny how people think. Okay - I mean its funny how I think :)

I think in terms of children and adoption... as in how many...

For example, when I see the cost of something I think "How many children could I adopt with that". Or... you know, I could feed a kid in Africa for a month with what that would cost me. But usually its - "I could adopt a kid with that".

To say that I think about adoption...all the time... would be an understatement. For real.

ALL - THE - TIME.

You know, we could have a nice, perfect, average family with our two kids. I love my kiddos. They are my dreams fulfilled. I don't want to be one of those people who are living a comfortable life. I want to stretch a little bit. My life is perfect. I have everything I have ever wanted. I am ready - ready for another one. Ready to add to our family. We want a few more kids.

It makes me sad that people can be so negative about that -- having a large family. Or... just adoption in general. Its like you are weird if you want to adopt. Or you want a few kids. I am the oldest of eight kids and I loved it. I love having so many siblings. My youngest sister is 7.

AND I LOVE IT!

I would love to have eight kids.

I often question my ability.

I know if God calls me to it then he will equip me.

Kyle and I talk about adoption and adding to our family often. The big WHEN? We don't know the details... but we know God will take care of those. I love how he has put this passion for adoption in OUR hearts. . . the both of us. My husband is just amazing. I love his heart.

We have our paperwork finished. Home study updated every year. A child could potentially be placed in our home this minute. I am ready. I don't know how it will happen - but it will. We are planning on adopting after Cali turns 1 year old. Thats at the end of October. My baby will be a year old! Can you believe it? I can't. Seems like yesterday I was anticipating her birth.

Anyway - so we would like her to be a year old. Of course it could be longer. Only God knows when our newest family member will come. Also - we both have to be ready. To know that its right. To know that God is leading us. I trust my husband - I trust his judgement. Anyway - I am excited about what is to come. I love my girls - they are my world. We are so blessed to be a part of their lives. They will be great big sisters to our next addition. :)

Black Pro Life Movement

My post is taken from:
http://rpmministries.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-pro-life-movement.html

Join the new Black Pro-Life Movement group on Facebook: http://bit.ly/Se4zv

View the amazing video by by Dr. Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on the horrors of abortion. http://bit.ly/12TZdg

Here's the introduction to the new group by one of its founder, Kimberly Cash Tate.

Did you know that abortion is the #1 killer in the black community? Fifty-percent of black offspring are aborted each year. That’s more than 1,500 black children each day. Since Roe v. Wade, more than 50 million babies have been killed in the womb. More than 14 million of these were black babies. For too long, New York advertising agencies and the media have sown the lie that “pro-life” is a white issue for “right-wing extremists.” The facts tell the truth. This isn’t an issue for one group of people or one political party. This is a human issue of epic proportion. It is an issue—like slavery in its day—that requires us to stand boldly for life, truth, and justice.

We are taking a stand. We are standing in the gap for the innocent who are being led away to slaughter. We are standing in the gap for the mothers who have been deceived into thinking it’s their body—only to be left with the pain and shame of knowing they’ve killed their own child. We are exposing the lies and plans of those who seek to advance this lucrative business of abortion. We are aligning ourselves with Jesus Christ and the Word of God, not bowing to a political party or political agenda.

This group exists to do the following:

EDUCATE and INFORM about abortion in our nation and in the black community in particular;

IMPART TRUTH from the Word of God, so that we can possess the mind of God on this important issue;

PRAY for a move of God in our land to abolish the evil of abortion; and

SPUR YOU to spread the word so that others will join this movement and learn the truth.

This group is open to all. Join us!

“Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, O hold them back.If you say, ‘See, we did not know this,’Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?And does He not know it who keeps your soul?And will He not render to man according to his work?”~~ Proverbs 24:11-12 NASB

Random Summer 09

Kyle & kinsey in the tractor with grandpa leading the way :)

Kyle & I :) The six grand kids on Kyle's side (one more on the way!!)

helping daddy put together the toddler bed

Kinsey loves flowers

Daddy and his beautiful girl