Church

I stayed home with the girls from church because they were sick today. . . more like coughing up nasty stuff. Either way...

So Kyle calls me on the way home from church to tell me that if I was there I would have been really annoyed. Okay - why? He says you just would have. Umm... okay? Why would I have been annoyed Kyle? "Oh you just would have been really irritated?" ... ummm... annoyed and irritated? "Why?" Well he tells me it was something about haiti and orphans and I would have been irritated.

I am not kidding - he is incredibly vague and you have to ask 50 questions.... but he does this when he is bothered by something and doesn't want to talk about it. Soooo... I ask him..

"Would I have been annoyed because YOU were annoyed at what they were saying?"

"Yes, I was!" he says, now sounding irritated at me...

"Why don't you just say why it bothered you Kyle???"

He doesn't want to talk about it and he wants to get off the phone.

Okay - so he is obviously bothered by whatever - and he is right - I probably would have been too.

I can just imagine, because the church sucks at orphan care.

(let me just say this too - soooo does that mean since the situations adopting from haiti have now closed that they would be open to adopting from another country? Or a BLACK child here in the united states? Because before this they were NOT open to a black child... um... aren't haitian children black?)

Not gonna lie - all his phone call did was stir up all the emotions I have been feeling about Ethiopia the last few weeks.

I feel frustration (and maybe a bit of jealousy) that people who CAN qualify to adopt from Ethiopia (or any other flipping country) don't. They don't care about the kids living in an orphanage - or they don't care enough to act. I keep getting emails and info about available or waiting children in orphanages. We don't qualify. Its funny how even right now I start to cry thinking about it. Ugh. I look at people who have PLENTY and could easily add a child (or infant) into their home. But they don't. And here I want to - but can't.

I love my life. We have chosen for our family to live on one income so I can stay home with our children. I want to be the one raising my kids - not some day care. So we CHOSE this... and that decision means we can't adopt from Ethiopia... or Congo... or..... where ever. I told Kyle I wouldn't change it. I don't want him to feel like what he does for us isn't enough... because it is. God is taking our family another direction.

A couple days ago we were contacted by another agency we had inquired through. He seems to think WE CAN adopt from Ethiopia its just a matter of how we are presented in our home study. I just don't know if I want to fork over $600 to find out if immigration will approve us... because what if they don't. That $600 could go towards our next adoption here. I don't know enough of the details how this works.

On another note...

Kyle mentioned last night that he had better finish the upstairs for the next time we get a call for foster care!!! This is HUGE. Kyle has never wanted to do foster care - just foster to adopt or adoption of children waiting in the system. Maybe talking to our social worker yesterday planted a little seed? God is changing is heart :) Our agency usually gets kids who are the harder to place kids in foster care. Now that we moved counties our worker seems optimistic that we will get kids placed with us who would be a good fit for our family and good with little ones :) I am just excited that this may now be a possibility for our family.

There is a child available for adoption now named Anthony. He isn't in our state but I would LOVE to have our info sent in to see if we would be a good family for him. He is significantly older than what we had originally been planning on but this boy has stolen my heart. He is the same age David would be now had he been placed with our family. Anthony's only special "need" is his age. Kyle isn't sure... :) I just want his okay to send our stuff in. I just wanted to share. I don't have much faith in this kind of a situation actually happening for us - but I can't help but get excited about the possibility.

Maybe God is saying WAIT on International Adoption... and right now he wants us taking in the children here. . . loving these kids...

Either way - I am excited to see where he takes us.

Thanks for letting me vent. Its been my therapy for today lol