just some pics

She is already a month old!!!

Our beautiful girl is already a month old! Can you believe that she is already a month old? This is crazy! It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that we went to California and picked her up! She is growing all the time, and her features are always changing :-) I love the way that she knows our voices, knows our touch, and responds to it. She knows when its her daddy that is bothering her :-) She hates baths and she doesn't like it when you change her diaper... so when she starts to cry her little leg shakes :-) It is so adorable! She is beautiful. So amazing and adorable! I love the way that she loves to cuddle! She cuddles so close to me :-) She is stretching out more and more and squirming around :-) We love her... :-)

My husband is wonderful :-)

It's the little things that he does that say "I love you". Different people ask if Kyle changes diapers... he hadn't but to me its not a big deal. Sometimes there are some things we just don't like to do. I hate cleaning haha... Kyle does alot of cleaning around the house but he hates dishes... so I make sure that I do the dishes. He helps out so much with Kinsey (feeding, bathing etc) but hadn't tackled the dirty diapers yet... no biggie for me because he helps out so much with everything else! Well this past Saturday I just wasn't feeling real great and was really tired! It was 5am and Kinsey was ready to eat so I got outta bed to feed her and Kyle jumps outta bed after me. He rushes to the kitchen where I was at and he tells me that he can feed her. I sat on the couch next to him and he was like "Go back to bed, I can handle it". I trucked back to bed and was out cold. He fed her and changed a very stinky diaper - not because he had to but because he wanted to. He did it because he loves me and he loves her. He shows us every day that he loves us... just by the little things he does. His patience with me cannot be measured and I am so thankful for his love. He works all day out in the heat or freezing cold and comes and then helps me out around the house (Okay, I help him around the house). I am trying to do better to show him how much I love him by helping out with the things that he values. I love him. He is amazing. So respectful and such an example of the definition of love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says that: "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." That is Kyle. Kyle is patient, kyle is kind, he isn't envious, isn't boastful, isn't proud. He isn't rude and he isn't self seeking. He is not easily angered. He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs. He doesn't delight in evil. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. I am so happy that Kinsey will have a daddy that loves her so much and teaches her how she should be treated by men.

Not good enough?

Women decide they don't want to be pregnant so they terminate their pregnancy. People decide they wouldn't want a child of her color so they wait years for a family.

I look at my daughter and wonder how anyone could possibly entertain the idea that her life is worth nothing. Women end the lives of their children for petty reasons - selfish reasons. We don't know who her father is - is that reason to not want her? She had no prenatal care - so is she not as valuable? I wonder how someone waiting years for a child would pass my daughter up because she isn't the "right" color of skin. Look at my daughter - isn't she beautiful? Are we so consumed with wanting "perfection" that the sanctity of each life is in question?

Created in God's image and crafted by his hand. She is absolutely perfect. She is flawless. Her tiny nose and her perfect fingers. Her gorgeous head full of hair. Her beautiful dark eyes. She is our daughter and no other is above her. She is capable of bringing so many to the Kingdom of God. It is very emotional for me to hold her, love her, kiss her and then think that there are people out there who do not view her as worthy. Who are you to believe so highly of yourself that this beautiful daughter of the king is not as "worthy" as you?

This tiny life is faced with racism before she is out of the womb. Families decide that a child with her color wouldn't "fit well" with their family. Can you believe it? Can you imagine someone having the nerve to tell me she isn't the absolute best? These feelings give me a look into the heart of God. These are HIS children - his creation - his handy work. And yet many dismiss them as second best.

Her eyes are a wide and beautiful. She looks up at me and just stares... is that a smile? :-) When she cries, one of us hold her close to our bodies and she knows she is safe. We didn't conceive her - but she is ours. I love her more than I can express. She is daddy's princess and he is her protector. She is our daughter. And despite what people think - she is perfect and we would not change a thing about her for the world.

Yes, my daughter was a result of a rape. Something so ugly and evil. . . . but God took the ashes and created something incredibly beautiful. She is a testimony of God's grace, of his love and his desire to heal the hurt. Her biological mother and grandma could have turned away from God because of this - but they didn't. Instead they turned to God and found themselves drawn to Him - the comforter and healer.

In my trauma class I was introduced to Isaiah 61:2-3 ... but I saw it first hand in the life of my daughter and her biological family:
"To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor!"

God's Timing and Not My Own...

As many of you know... we sent our contact info into Project Cuddle in January to be a Rescue Family. When we found out about Project Cuddle we believed in their mission and decided if we were going to adopt a baby that would be the way that we most wanted to do it!

We also knew that if we were to adopt thru them it would be a GOD THING! No I didn't mis-spell "good" ... I mean a G-O-D thing! We are young and most people look at us and prefer an older couple... older meaning like at least 25 - 30... we also don't have high paying jobs or have a big house... not that these matter in eternity but people want what they want. Anyway, we sent our stuff in to them - we were open to any race and any situation (rape, drug exposed, HIV positive, no prenatal care etc). I had really been feeling like God was challenging me these last two months - I felt like he was saying.."Do you believe that I can bring you your child without your help?" I had been pouring hours and hours into trying to make an adoption happen... I wasn't relying on God and his timing. Anyway... so two months after we sent our stuff in we got the call!!! There was a 14 year old girl pregnant with a baby to be due in the next couple weeks. She was Hispanic and the baby was a result of a rape with no prenatal care. We said YES! Of course we didn't know if she would choose us... she had to choose between 5 couples... but she did!! They gave her five more profiles and she chose us again. God is good. This was his timing and our baby that he had picked special for us. She is a miracle. She is completely healthy and beautiful! Many people believe you should abort a baby conceived thru rape....of course its not the girls' fault she was raped - but its not the baby's fault either... Someone will love that baby. God is so good... everything happens in his time....



(This is a project cuddle video to promote their mission - to stop baby abandonment)
Project Cuddle - A Chance To Live

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*adorable*

Some pictures I took of Kinsey in Kyle's hands :-)

Kinsey does not like her bath time :-)

some of the family (Kyle's side)

*First picture is a 4 generation picture *Grandma with Kinsey & Will

Last Night

...it was a late night but so much fun spending it with the family! My mom graduated with a nursing degree and it was special having us all there together :-) This is a picture of me, my husband Kyle, daughter Kinsey, my parents and all seven of my brothers and sisters.
This next picture is us at my great grandma's house after the graduation.... I made her a great great grandma to my daughter Kinsey... This is five generations!

I just can't get enough!

Her First Doctor Appointment :-)

Today was Kinsey's first appointment with Dr. Chandler! (This is Dr. Chandler & Kinsey) Dr. Chandler is Kyle's family physician and actually delivered Kyle almost 23 years ago! Kinsey weighed 7 lbs., 10 oz. at birth and today she weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz. - just two weeks and one day after her birth :-) He said she was completely healthy - as perfect as any baby could be! He also suggested that we take a picture of her hairy body because it will fall off and he thought when she is a teenager that she may want to know how hairy she was lol :-) Anyway... so it is exciting.... she had her first check up! * * Last night was so much better than two nights ago too. She actually stayed on schedule and woke up every three hours (almost to the minute). It was a nice change from the night before. I would wake up - feed her - and she would go right back to bed. She had a big day yesterday though so I am sure that helped too. I went to Warsaw yesterday, took my final, had two evaluations and had lunch with my sister Shauna, brother Johnny, mom and grandma. It was a nice time together and I enjoyed it! Neither Johnny nor my grandma had met Kinsey yet and so they loved being able to hold her :-) We took a four generation picture and now tomorrow we will have to take a five generation pic with my great grandma who I turned into a great great grandma with Kinsey. On the way back from Warsaw Kinsey cried the whole way home...but once we got back to grandma Joan's she was alright and we snuggled together before grandma got her :-) Grandma Joan has just been cuddling and cuddling with her :-) We have been over there everyday and its been so nice for us all. I love spending time with the inlaws... they are amazing. I love to mention that they are the inlaws because I think it magnifies how amazing our relationship is lol... I have heard such terrible inlaw stories but I am SOOO VERY BLESSED!! * * Yesterday we got a call about David too. David was the young boy who we were planning on adopting prior to Kinsey. Then we had decided to adopt both... well we hadn't heard anything about him in a month a now all of a sudden - BAM! Anyway... all different kinds of thoughts running through our minds now... David is an eleven year old boy from Texas. He has been wanting to be adopted for a long time and has actively taken a role in selecting a family to adopt him. Out of the homestudies that he read with his case worker of families wanting to adopt him - he wants us to be his parents. They asked if he wanted to move all the way to Indiana - he doesn't care as long as we adopt him :-) He has no behavior issues, he has no health problems, he has no delays ... his only "special need" is his age. He has had many people tell him (old foster parents) that no one loves him and thats why he doesn't have any parents. He longs to be loved and be part of a family... and said he would be so excited about being an older brother! Anyway, as many of you may know - older children are on our heart and adopting an older child was our desire when beginning this process. Project Cuddle, our agency and david's agency all are perfectly alright with us adopting both - so now we must decide. There is plenty of love in our hearts for both Kinsey and David.... we love children and love being parents! We feel like God has blessed us with an amazing love for these "fatherless" children. We just want to make a wise decision. We will see where God leads us... so keep us in your prayers!! We really need God's direction! :-)

So last night was a bad night... but thats okay :-)

So I fed Kinsey last night around midnight and she typically goes to sleep after that - she ends up sleeping a few hours... well... not last night :-) She screamed and squirmed off and on until 4am - and I mean screamed. She was changed, fed and ready for bed but as soon as I put her into bed she would scream. Occasionally she would take a break to get all her energy back - then she was at it again. So I was awake until 4am and had to get up at 7am... I had a final today for my Psychotrauma and Therapy Class - it was rough to get going on only three hours of sleep - but the test went good. I had two evaluations today for my counseling practicum and those went really well! My mom, grandma, sister Shauna and my brother Johnny all went to Bob Evans too - then the girls and they babysat for me while I took my test. Someone at Walmart thought that Kinsey was my mom's kid - and they were shocked to find out she was grandma haha:-)Anyway back to her bad night - This is only the second time she has had a bad night so I think we are doing pretty dang good :-) * * Today the neighbors of Kyle's parents came over to see Kinsey :-) She is just the most beautiful thing ever! People love looking at her and holding her. We went to Bob Evans today with my grandma, mom, sister Shauna and my brother Johnny - people love babies- especially mine :-) People were commenting on her dark complexion .... its hard because you don't know what to say... so we just said "yep, she is hispanic" but from now on we are gonna say something like "She gets it from her dad" :-) We looked at Kyle's baby picture and he and Kinsey actually resemble each other as babies :-) * * Tomorrow she has her first doctor appointment so that is exciting!! We will be going to the same doctor who delivered Kyle when he was born!

A Slide show of Kinsey with Mommy and Daddy!

We love her :-)

Cool Slideshows

our families first meeting with Kinsey...

We got home at 2:15am this morning and it was a LONG drive home from the airport!! She was great on the plane, she didn't cry at all and slept most of the time. People were really impressed (and pleasantly surprised haha). Kyle's parents were waiting at our house when we got home... his mom asleep on the futon and his dad sleeping on the floor. It was great to see them and they were excited about Kinsey!

Today my family came up to see her - the kids (my brothers and sisters) were soooo excited to be aunts and uncles! Justin kept singing her songs and she loved it. We are so blesssed with such amazing support systems. Our families are so great! Grandma (Kyle's mom) is holding Kinsey right now... its so hard to put her down - she loves to cuddle :-) We are just so blessed. I can't believe it finally happened.

Did I mention how much I love her???

So... tomorrow we are leaving to go back home to Indiana!!! Today we took a trip to see my family in 29 Palms and it took us three hours there and four hours back... she was great in the car ... but of course fussed when she needed to be fed (who doesn't? lol) The family loves her! And the family back home loves her already without even having met her! She is amazing! Just a perfect baby!

Its amazing how you can love a child so much the moment you lay eyes on them... and even before!

She is getting so big!!

Here is our little

*Kinsey*

She is just one week old!!! She is changing everyday!!
Its amazing how they change in just one week!! :-)
I think she looks so much older with her eyes open :-)