Random Cuteness :)

4 wheel jamboree

Didn't you know that white is better?

Last week while I was at a church function/event that I was volunteering for, the topic of adoption came up. You know – women start talking about everything while they work. I was one of three women there who had adopted a child. One of the women was sharing with me about the agency she had gone through – She knew I had adopted but that was the extent of it. Pretty much it was the other two women going back and forth. Then they got to fees and wait period… The woman looks at me with this look I can’t really describe and says “We only waited six months for a CAUCASIAN child”. I am making that in bold because she said it just like that …. Even verbalizing it I can’t explain the look on this woman’s face or the sound of her voice. She said it very slow and very… I don’t know – proud of herself? Like she got what everyone else wishes they had.

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

Seriously – you know that feeling where you instantly don’t feel good? I had that. Then I got pissed. My first thought – “Did she really just say that out loud and in that way?” …and my second thought? “What the hell makes your daughter better than mine because she is white?”

This has happened over a week ago and I still feel nauseas thinking about it. On the way home I thought maybe I was taking it the wrong way – maybe she didn’t mean it like that. Then I keep thinking of the WAY she said it. That smug look on her face. Don’t misunderstand – I know many people who only want to adopt white children and I am not offended everytime I hear about it. It was the smug way she said it. So is that how people really feel? That they got the better or more desirable child because its white? I’m sure she wouldn’t have said it in that way, using that tone, had she known my daughter was Hispanic. But at least I know what she was thinking. And these are Christians.

Jesus loves the little children….Red, yellow, black and white … they are precious in his sight.

I still can’t believe it. What if my next child is African American? Or Biracial? Or is Hispanic like my oldest daughter? Does that mean I am to be pitied because I didn’t get a white baby? Are you freaking kidding me??? Does it ever occur to people that our “preference” is a non Caucasian child?

P.S. Jesus wasn’t white

I am ready

You know its funny how people think. Okay - I mean its funny how I think :)

I think in terms of children and adoption... as in how many...

For example, when I see the cost of something I think "How many children could I adopt with that". Or... you know, I could feed a kid in Africa for a month with what that would cost me. But usually its - "I could adopt a kid with that".

To say that I think about adoption...all the time... would be an understatement. For real.

ALL - THE - TIME.

You know, we could have a nice, perfect, average family with our two kids. I love my kiddos. They are my dreams fulfilled. I don't want to be one of those people who are living a comfortable life. I want to stretch a little bit. My life is perfect. I have everything I have ever wanted. I am ready - ready for another one. Ready to add to our family. We want a few more kids.

It makes me sad that people can be so negative about that -- having a large family. Or... just adoption in general. Its like you are weird if you want to adopt. Or you want a few kids. I am the oldest of eight kids and I loved it. I love having so many siblings. My youngest sister is 7.

AND I LOVE IT!

I would love to have eight kids.

I often question my ability.

I know if God calls me to it then he will equip me.

Kyle and I talk about adoption and adding to our family often. The big WHEN? We don't know the details... but we know God will take care of those. I love how he has put this passion for adoption in OUR hearts. . . the both of us. My husband is just amazing. I love his heart.

We have our paperwork finished. Home study updated every year. A child could potentially be placed in our home this minute. I am ready. I don't know how it will happen - but it will. We are planning on adopting after Cali turns 1 year old. Thats at the end of October. My baby will be a year old! Can you believe it? I can't. Seems like yesterday I was anticipating her birth.

Anyway - so we would like her to be a year old. Of course it could be longer. Only God knows when our newest family member will come. Also - we both have to be ready. To know that its right. To know that God is leading us. I trust my husband - I trust his judgement. Anyway - I am excited about what is to come. I love my girls - they are my world. We are so blessed to be a part of their lives. They will be great big sisters to our next addition. :)