just some pics

She is already a month old!!!

Our beautiful girl is already a month old! Can you believe that she is already a month old? This is crazy! It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that we went to California and picked her up! She is growing all the time, and her features are always changing :-) I love the way that she knows our voices, knows our touch, and responds to it. She knows when its her daddy that is bothering her :-) She hates baths and she doesn't like it when you change her diaper... so when she starts to cry her little leg shakes :-) It is so adorable! She is beautiful. So amazing and adorable! I love the way that she loves to cuddle! She cuddles so close to me :-) She is stretching out more and more and squirming around :-) We love her... :-)

My husband is wonderful :-)

It's the little things that he does that say "I love you". Different people ask if Kyle changes diapers... he hadn't but to me its not a big deal. Sometimes there are some things we just don't like to do. I hate cleaning haha... Kyle does alot of cleaning around the house but he hates dishes... so I make sure that I do the dishes. He helps out so much with Kinsey (feeding, bathing etc) but hadn't tackled the dirty diapers yet... no biggie for me because he helps out so much with everything else! Well this past Saturday I just wasn't feeling real great and was really tired! It was 5am and Kinsey was ready to eat so I got outta bed to feed her and Kyle jumps outta bed after me. He rushes to the kitchen where I was at and he tells me that he can feed her. I sat on the couch next to him and he was like "Go back to bed, I can handle it". I trucked back to bed and was out cold. He fed her and changed a very stinky diaper - not because he had to but because he wanted to. He did it because he loves me and he loves her. He shows us every day that he loves us... just by the little things he does. His patience with me cannot be measured and I am so thankful for his love. He works all day out in the heat or freezing cold and comes and then helps me out around the house (Okay, I help him around the house). I am trying to do better to show him how much I love him by helping out with the things that he values. I love him. He is amazing. So respectful and such an example of the definition of love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says that: "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." That is Kyle. Kyle is patient, kyle is kind, he isn't envious, isn't boastful, isn't proud. He isn't rude and he isn't self seeking. He is not easily angered. He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs. He doesn't delight in evil. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. I am so happy that Kinsey will have a daddy that loves her so much and teaches her how she should be treated by men.

Not good enough?

Women decide they don't want to be pregnant so they terminate their pregnancy. People decide they wouldn't want a child of her color so they wait years for a family.

I look at my daughter and wonder how anyone could possibly entertain the idea that her life is worth nothing. Women end the lives of their children for petty reasons - selfish reasons. We don't know who her father is - is that reason to not want her? She had no prenatal care - so is she not as valuable? I wonder how someone waiting years for a child would pass my daughter up because she isn't the "right" color of skin. Look at my daughter - isn't she beautiful? Are we so consumed with wanting "perfection" that the sanctity of each life is in question?

Created in God's image and crafted by his hand. She is absolutely perfect. She is flawless. Her tiny nose and her perfect fingers. Her gorgeous head full of hair. Her beautiful dark eyes. She is our daughter and no other is above her. She is capable of bringing so many to the Kingdom of God. It is very emotional for me to hold her, love her, kiss her and then think that there are people out there who do not view her as worthy. Who are you to believe so highly of yourself that this beautiful daughter of the king is not as "worthy" as you?

This tiny life is faced with racism before she is out of the womb. Families decide that a child with her color wouldn't "fit well" with their family. Can you believe it? Can you imagine someone having the nerve to tell me she isn't the absolute best? These feelings give me a look into the heart of God. These are HIS children - his creation - his handy work. And yet many dismiss them as second best.

Her eyes are a wide and beautiful. She looks up at me and just stares... is that a smile? :-) When she cries, one of us hold her close to our bodies and she knows she is safe. We didn't conceive her - but she is ours. I love her more than I can express. She is daddy's princess and he is her protector. She is our daughter. And despite what people think - she is perfect and we would not change a thing about her for the world.

Yes, my daughter was a result of a rape. Something so ugly and evil. . . . but God took the ashes and created something incredibly beautiful. She is a testimony of God's grace, of his love and his desire to heal the hurt. Her biological mother and grandma could have turned away from God because of this - but they didn't. Instead they turned to God and found themselves drawn to Him - the comforter and healer.

In my trauma class I was introduced to Isaiah 61:2-3 ... but I saw it first hand in the life of my daughter and her biological family:
"To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor!"

God's Timing and Not My Own...

As many of you know... we sent our contact info into Project Cuddle in January to be a Rescue Family. When we found out about Project Cuddle we believed in their mission and decided if we were going to adopt a baby that would be the way that we most wanted to do it!

We also knew that if we were to adopt thru them it would be a GOD THING! No I didn't mis-spell "good" ... I mean a G-O-D thing! We are young and most people look at us and prefer an older couple... older meaning like at least 25 - 30... we also don't have high paying jobs or have a big house... not that these matter in eternity but people want what they want. Anyway, we sent our stuff in to them - we were open to any race and any situation (rape, drug exposed, HIV positive, no prenatal care etc). I had really been feeling like God was challenging me these last two months - I felt like he was saying.."Do you believe that I can bring you your child without your help?" I had been pouring hours and hours into trying to make an adoption happen... I wasn't relying on God and his timing. Anyway... so two months after we sent our stuff in we got the call!!! There was a 14 year old girl pregnant with a baby to be due in the next couple weeks. She was Hispanic and the baby was a result of a rape with no prenatal care. We said YES! Of course we didn't know if she would choose us... she had to choose between 5 couples... but she did!! They gave her five more profiles and she chose us again. God is good. This was his timing and our baby that he had picked special for us. She is a miracle. She is completely healthy and beautiful! Many people believe you should abort a baby conceived thru rape....of course its not the girls' fault she was raped - but its not the baby's fault either... Someone will love that baby. God is so good... everything happens in his time....



(This is a project cuddle video to promote their mission - to stop baby abandonment)
Project Cuddle - A Chance To Live

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